Depressed
It’s that time of the month! I cried all day today.
I need to figure out what’s wrong with me. I’m smart enough for that. I can look at myself from an outside view just as good as any therapist. Right? I need to think about what I want and need and what I’m willing to bend on and what things I’m not willing to bend on. Okay. I know all those things. So what’s next?
I’m afraid of the what ifs. What if this, what if that? The site says to ask myself why. Is is because of things that have happened to me? Yes. Is it because of things that are grounded in fact? Maybe. How do you treat a new thing with new ideas using the same old brain? How can I get over it? How can I treat a new situation in a healthy way using my old experiences? Type up a blog entry? Yes.
Boundaries. I have them. I need them. They are being stretched and tested. What are the most important ones that cannot be crossed? There are some that can’t be crossed often, but can be crossed once in a while. There are also some that can never be crossed. Must make those three categories clear. Got it.
How can I learn to control my reactions? Sometimes I guess I can’t. Even though I want to. It would be better for me if I could, but I am a collection of my past, present and future. Therefore, my reactions just happen.
What about work? My job is both good and bad at the same time. I work from home, make my own hours, can go and come as I need. I can run errands during the day, the work is fairly easy. However, it’s boring. It requires a lot of discipline, which I haven’t had lately. The work itself is uninteresting. I’m stuck between comfort and a paycheck. What would make me happy? The problem is I’m not sure.
